Happy five month birthday Bug!! These past few months have flown by and yet it seems like I have been a mom my whole life, how does that happen?
Being a mom is certainly the best thing I have ever done (maybe second to being married) and I love it more than I thought possible but it is also the most challenging task I have ever taken on (not second to being married). I don't think anything really prepares you for how your life will change when you become a mom. You are told you don't get a lot of sleep, but who deprives themself of sleep for weeks just to see how they will function when a baby comes? You are told you are never "just yourself", but have you ever taken anyone in the bathroom with you just to see what it's like to lose all privacy?
Young moms rave about how wonderful motherhood is and they look like they are telling the truth! They are beautiful, well dressed with an equally as beautiful and well dressed baby in tow. Now I don't doubt they love motherhood my observation is just that no one mentions that they may be struggling slightly, so we all suffer in silence. "Seasoned" moms tell you it's hard and are always offering to babysit or give you a break. However, we as "young put-together moms" think these breaks are only for frantic moms or moms that don't love their kids as much as we love ours. I am finding after trying to look like I have it all together for the last 5 monts that it is pretty much impossible and I do need help from those that have gone before me. I hope I am not the first to say, "I certainly don't have it all together, I don't think I even have it kinda together". (I know this post is not that great and doesn't have the pictures the family loves to see but I needed to honestly document this journey for myself). Being a mom is REALLY HARD! Don't misunderstand me I wouldn't change it for the world and it's what I have dreamed of doing all my life but I do get really overwhelmed and exhausted almost daily. Every baby book I read while I was pregnant made it seem obvious that I would be overwhelmed and need breaks but once Jewel arrived I felt tremendous pressure to look and act the part of a "veteran" mom. You know what I mean, to look like you haven't had a baby and to look like you aren't taking care of one either (freshly washed hair, nicely dress, well rested, calm etc...). This pressure was probably more from my own need of perfection than anything anyone else did or said. I felt like I needed to take care of the house, take care of the baby, meet for baby playdates looking like we both stepped out of a magazine, get some exercise, prepare all meals (I am home now you know), be a great wife all the while I was barely able to have a daily shower. Maybe in 25 years I will feel like I have it all together but then I will probably be one of those "seasoned" moms that offers free babysitting instead of a smile and false hope;)
I am turning over a new leaf today and I am not going to be ashamed to take the advice of the "seasoned" moms and ask for help when I need it. I will not pretend to have everything together, I will be honest and do what I need to, to stay sane and give Jewel the best family and home life possible.
I would just like to thank all those in our life that have been amazing and have offered to help countless times and those that have helped countless times, I couldn't do it without you, I just may let you help more often;) Thank you to the "seasoned" moms for your advice, reassurance and extended hand. Thank you to the "new" mommies for sharing this wonderfully challenging experience, I just hope we can talk more honestly now. Thank you to my husband for all you patience and love, you know me better than anyone and you still love me! Thank you to my mom and Adrian's mom, you have both been better grandparents and parents than I could ever hope to be! And thank you Heavenly Father for your grace to stand up and try again.
Dear Jewel,
I love you more than you know now (once you have your own babies you will understand, you will also understand why moms can be so crazy sometimes). I have loved getting to know you and watching you grow everyday. I am amazed at what a personality you have already and feel beyond blessed that God picked me as your mommy. I promise to celebrate you and "train you up in the way [you] should go [so] when [you're] old [you] wont be lost"*. I will not be perfect and either will you but we will be family forever and I will love you fervently all the days of my life.
Love
Your Mommy
xoxoxo
*The Bible
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6 comments:
You have hit the nail on the head, Liz. I know how you feel! Some times I feel guilty for wanting just one night without Ella, so I can go to bed when I want and get up when I want. But you're right, we all need a break. Being a mom is hard!
Hi Liz,
I just read your letters and started to cry. Being a mom is never easy and never will be easy, but it will always be the most rewarding thing you do. I am sure you are an awesome mom because you are an amazing young lady and someone recently told me not to worry about the future because the past will predict the future. If your foundations are laid down properly, there are no worries. Luv you babe.
kudos Liz. I must say without my family, especially Mikes retired and oh so willing to help parents I don't think I could make it. You often feel like you are the crazy mom that you said you would never be, but then you take a breath and realize they are only 2 and that you love them and it's not the end of the world. I remind myself of that hourly. Love you and you are doing an amazing job. Ash
Well done Liz! It's the truth and I think we put our own pressure on ourselves to achieve "perfection" because of what we see for a few minutes, or even hours, at church, playdate or elsewhere. We forget that when we are in those situations everyone is on their "best" behaviour and isn't showing the whole truth. We try to keep up with an unreasonable and unrealistic self-interpreted standard that no one lives by.
So, now take a breath, forget the dustbunnies (you should see my place today) and just enjoy little moments. You're doing great!
Good for you Liz!
thanks a ton Liz - I'm tearing up now!
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